In last week’s ezine, I was SO excited to invite you to my brand new Free Class where for the first time, I’ll reveal the H.E.A.R.T. System.  It’s the formula I use to solve problems with animals to get the remarkable results I’m known for, and I want to teach it to you so you can solve problems with your animals too.

People flocked to the website to find out more and to sign up for the class…

…Imagine my horror when I discovered that after the huge amount of time, energy and effort setting this all up and preparing, that folks couldn’t sign up because the optin links weren’t working right!

I’m so sorry, I somehow made an error with the html code.  Oops!!

It took a bit of work to sort out (note to Self: delegate these tasks to someone who’s good at them!), but the problem is fixed now.

Please forgive the goof, and be SURE to Sign Up for the class (see below).

On a different note, Einstein lost his name tag last week while he was having fun excavating and exploring under our deck. And it made me think:

Wouldn’t it be cool if everyone could talk with animals?  When we found a lost animal, we could simply ask them where they live or who their people are…  We could teach them their address and phone numbers like we do our children!

Then when/if they got lost, they could just ask someone to phone home for them. (Maybe that’ll be Einstein’s next trick to learn… how to use a phone!)

For now, I went to Petsmart like other normal doggie parents do, and got him a new name tag. While I was waiting in line, there was a father with his 4 young children and 2 young beagles.

The boy dog, Toby, was barking, lunging, dragging the kids across the floor, and generally being obnoxious to other people and dogs in the store.  He got so excited that when his sister got in his way, he snapped and attacked her!

The children kept petting and stroking and talking to him to try to ‘calm him down’.  Unfortunately, their actions only told Toby that he was doing the right thing and to keep it up.  And his behavior escalated to the point of more serious aggression.

I was witnessing a tragedy in the making.  Toby is learning that his people want him to be aggressive, to bark at strangers and snap.  Later on, he’ll likely become a red zone, dangerous dog… all because of a misunderstanding between him and his humans.  And their mistake may wind up costing Toby his life.

The problem isn’t in their intention… it’s in the system they are using to train him.

Animals want to do a good job… but if the system of training, communication and management isn’t right for them, then things don’t work right.

In Toby’s case, his people are systematically and consistently rewarding the very behavior they don’t want.

All successful animal people have systems.  I want to show you mine, the unique approach I use to get the extraordinary results I get with my clients.

This week on The Real Dr Doolittle Show, we switched it up a bit.  Cathy Rivers of www.bighorsedreams.com interviewed… ME!  We recently met at a Kendall Summerhawk event, and she wanted to know more about my system for solving problems with horses and other animals.  So we recorded our conversation.  Be sure to listen, we had a blast.

Remember, animals are sentient messengers here to help you learn, grow and heal.  You can learn to hear their voices, and when you do, it will change your life.

Much love to you and your furrkids,

Val

“A single conversation across the table with a wise (wo)man is worth more than a month’s supply of books.”-  Chinese Proverb

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By Melissa Pharr

Well I’m no sleep doctor, but Dr. Maas, author of “ Sleep For Success”, sure knows his stuff on the topic. I’d like to share him with you today. Below I’ve added a few facts of his and a few of my own. In addition, I’ve attached an interview with Dr. Maas at the bottom of this email that was sent to me by one of my extraordinary clients.

I think one of the key things Dr. Maas tells us is that sleep is, “not a luxury, it’s a necessity.” Think you’re someone who doesn’t need much? Think again. You may believe you’re getting adequate sleep, but it turns out most of us are getting about 1 hour less than we think and the majority of Americans are sleep-deprived.

Here are a couple of things you should know about sleep:

• Adequate sleep allows you to burn excess body fat
• Not enough sleep will make you gain weight
• After 7 hours of sleep (into the 8th hour) your brain makes all kinds of connections that allow your body and mind to function at a higher level during the day
• During your last hours of adequate sleep (again, you must get past the 7th hour) your body begins a natural fat burning session
• According to Dr. Maas, sleep is the best predictor of how long you’re going to live
• Inadequate sleep significantly increases your risk of Cancer, Type II Diabetes, Obesity, and many other degenerative diseases

For all of you noble, early morning exercisers. I’ve said it before, but with this topic, once is never enough. If you’re getting up early to work out, especially if you’re performing high intensity exercise, you’re much better off going back to bed. In addition to the benefits that I’ve already listed above, there are other reasons to play smart when it comes to scheduling your work out at certain times during the day.

During Tip #1, I wrote about exercise as either an added stress OR stress relief. Obviously, we favor the latter. Dr. Maas says in his interview that 12pm or 5pm-7pm is the best time to work out for several reasons. I’d like to highlight an additional incentive that is extremely important… Cortisol and Adrenaline levels are naturally higher in the morning, causing exercise to more easily be an added stress than stress relief. These adrenal levels are lower in the middle of the day and early evening, plus you’re not sacrificing your sleep!

Are you making the same excuse we’ve all hear 100 million times?
“I have too much to do, and I don’t have enough time.” I used to rack my brain miserably for hours just trying to finish a project so I could cross it off my list and feel productive. It was always a short lived feeling of accomplishment, and by that time I usually felt like shit, pardon my language, and had something new on my to do list. The end result of my work was so-so. I’ve found that if I allow myself down time and get adequate sleep, everything I do is higher quality and takes about a quarter of the time. That’s a lot of freed up time. Oh, and the people I’m around like me better, too, so there’s that.

“I can sleep when I’m dead.” I hope you read the facts above. Sleep is the best predictor of how long you’ll live. It’s up to you. You can live longer and feel alive OR you can live a shorter life and feel like a zombie. 

“I can’t, I sleep poorly and can’t make it through 8 hours.” I feel your pain. Lots of us have had circumstances that keep us from getting good shut eye so I’ve provided you with a few helpful hints below. ANYONE can significantly improve their sleep, except maybe those with an infant, in which case you might try napping when possible.

What can you do to better your sleep situation?

• Give up TV a half hour to an hour before bed
• Leave your phone alone before bed. Seriously.
• Acknowledge the fact that electronics before bed decrease your chances of falling asleep easily and getting high quality sleep throughout the night
• Stop staying up late. It decreases your natural melatonin levels
• Create a quiet, dark, and cool sleeping environment
• Take a bath before bed
• Don’t eat a ton before bed
• Avoid alcohol and caffeine

So let’s check in! How is your weekly workout schedule going? Are you 2:1-ing it? Remember, I’m happy to coach your through these tips via email so take advantage! We’re already on Tip #2 so let’s get down to business. There’s always enough time for the things that really matter and YOU’RE one of those things. When you take care of yourself your light shines brightest, benefiting not only you, but the rest of the world.

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Melissa Pharr is a NASM Certified Personal Trainer, Performance Enhancement Specialist, and Corrective Exercise Specialist. She climbed to the top of the ladder as a Professional Trainer and shortly after to an upper level management position before leaving Corporate America. At the age of 25 she begin her own home-based business and decided to test her skills as an entrepreneur. Melissa is the founder and owner of The Ultimate You. Her passion is helping Entrepreneurs and Leaders who lead busy lives and are frustrated with their bodies to find a smarter, not harder way to balance their health.

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As record heat fries the eastern half of the USA (including where we live) over the past few days, experts warn of the dangers of over-exposure to our bodies. It’s just plain hot.

Even if you aren’t struggling with this heat wave where you live, chances are you’ve taken some kind of vacation with your family or maybe gotten together with family or friends for an extended time together.

If you have ever spent some extended time with more intense interaction than you normally do, there’s also a pretty good chance that with all of this social interaction and “togetherness,” you might feel a bit “over-exposed” to the ones you love.

You might have felt like there was a little too much togetherness and your love (and patience) may have been tested

After a brief vacation together, one family we know found themselves picking arguments with each other that was out of the ordinary for them.

The dad made the comment to us that “We’ve been together a little bit too too long right now.”

What we know is that “over-exposure to the ones we love” feeling, along with the stresses that vacations can bring– heat, dealing with crowds of people, trying to get around in unfamiliar places, erratic eating schedules or rich and unfamiliar food –can certainly play havoc in the best relationships, even if you think you’re doing pretty well.
If you can relate…

Here are some specific ways you might react when you’ve been together a little too long or have “vacation-itis” and some suggestions to “cool” down your and others’ emotions
and reactions…

1. Communication misfires that come up now and then seem to be exaggerated and over-blown.
Carla and her husband Jay rented a kayak when they were vacationing together in the Great Lakes region. Being relatively new to kayaking, they found that they became very irritated with one another as they tried to paddle (sometimes in opposite directions) to their destination.

They couldn’t establish a rhythm that worked for both of them–Carla wanted to paddle slower than Jay and he became anxious when they were out of sync.

On top of that, they each seemed to have their own “plans” for getting where they were going but “forgot” to share them with each other.

Normally, they get along pretty well but it became clear that their usual way of communicating (or not communicating) didn’t work as well when they were in one boat, trying to go in one direction.
And it was a metaphor for what happens in their life together.
Afterwards their kayak experience, Carla discovered that she pushes Jay to be the leader but then does
her own thing when she feels afraid or triggered.

Jay discovered that when he gets irritated with Carla, he becomes superior and sarcastic which only makes the situation and communication worse.
We talk a lot about “magic words” that can make a big difference in your communication and if Carla
or Jay had asked one of our “Magic Words” questions like this…

“How can we make this situation work better?”
…with a completely open heart, their kayak trip might have been more enjoyable.

They could even have some fun with it and imagineall kinds of ways to make their situation better–like sawing the kayak in half or skipping the paddling part and going for a swim from the boat–along with clearly talking about a plan that might help them work together.

As you can clearly see, “Magic Words” and questions like these can truly make a big difference
in the quality of your communication and your love when you use them….

You can tap into our whole list of magic words, phrases and sentence-starters by going here…

http://www.MagicRelationshipWords.com

Another way that too much time together can create a feeling of “overexposure”…
2. Trust and jealousy issues come to the forefront.
If there are any jealousy and trust issues in a relationship, they get triggered big time in the summer when other men and women wear practically nothing.

Pam felt very uncomfortable thinking about going on a vacation with her husband Paul to the Bahamas becauseof all the women in bikinis they would see on the beaches. Normally, they didn’t go many places where she would have to endure having him look at these other women wearing practically nothing–so it wasn’t too much of a problem–except now and then.

But when Pam’s jealousy did erupt, it put a damper on everything–and she certainly didn’t want that to happen on her vacation.

In this situation, we’d recommend that Pam practice noticing her self-talk and the stories she makes up when she gets jealous.

When she identifies her “stories”–like the story that Paul wants to be with the woman in the bikini more than her, she can question whether she knows that’s true or not.

If she’s honest with herself, she’ll admit that she doesn’t know that’s true–and then she can learn to switch her thinking to examples of when he’s shown her that he loves her.

As she changes her focus, she learns to calm her suspicious thoughts and jealousy.
For more practical ways to deal with jealousy, visit http://www.NoMoreJealousy.com/Program

3. If you’re feeling like there’s too much togetherness, you might even begin to wonder why you’re with your partner because the two of you just can’t seem to get along.

Okay, so this is extreme but it might cross your mind in the throes of conflict and when you’ve really had enough of each other. If this happens, take a breath, take a walk by yourself or do something that will break the stale-mate that you can’t seem to get out of.

When you both are in a calmer, more centered place, talk about what you both want and need. And listen to each other.

If your disagreements are deeply-rooted and you need some help getting some resolution, don’t give up on the relationship until you’ve gotten the help of a therapist or coach.

If you want help sorting out your situation in complete privacy, we have a program “Should you stay or should you go?” at http://www.stayorgo.com that can help you.

Over-exposure to each other can be a good thing. It can lead you to discovering some valuable things about each other that will open the door to deepening your love and connection if you’re open to working through the challenges of the moment when you get irritated or overexposed.
So have fun this summer and remember your sun screen.

Passionate Heart Quote of the Week
“If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant:
if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would
not be so welcome.”
Anne Bradstreet
1612-1672, Poet
Information from http://www.collinspartners.com

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